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Thirty Five

November 23rd, 2024

I've known, for a while that I was a spellcaster
Kermit made me see that years ago
that my words were spells and my magic was strong
that reality is made of ideas
and my power was hacking them

But I wasn't seeing the bigger picture
The big flow of energy
the way everything is vibrating
in frequencies that resonate with one another
and how that makes up the fabric of reality

I can see it now, I can sense it


I used to think intuition was nonsense
that emotion was important but secondary
I was blind to the fact my whole body is sensing all the time
and my conscious mind cannot possibly keep up

And sure, intuition isn’t everything
just like knowledge isn't everything

Truth is a dance 
truth of fact and truth of feeling, intertwine*
and it is stubborn and foolish to not want to see
the world in its entirety
because therein true wisdom lies
that is clear to me now

I knew that stories were a kind of spell
but I can now see the true magic
is intention, and in doing

I love you, is a spell
So is a song
a gaze

and there’s magic in rituals
in people deciding to join in
and build something together

all that intention resonates 
and it calls out like a beacon
to whoever vibrates at the same frequencies
they follow the call and gather
and communities are born

that’s how I found mine
how I’ve always found my people
I could always sense it
but being aware of it now
I can see them a mile away
beckoning to me

it’s so clear to see once you know how to


On this year I have danced 
more than I have ever danced before 
to the vibration of sound waves
and to those of other people

I have felt them as my own
felt myself lose my limits
as we quivered into each other

On this year I have composed vessels
of clay and paper
of space
letters, ideas, embraces

to place my hopes and fears
and those of others
to hold, in common.
And through it all
I’ve been held myself
by all those who along with me
compose the same symphony

I have learned all this
with and through them

we have gone together to the place
where you can see it all, sense it
and come back knowing
forever knowing
that truth is a dance
and the world is bigger than we knew.
Notes
* Truth of fact, truth of feeling is a short science fiction story contained in Ted Chiang's book Exhalation.

Why caballá?

Hablar caballá (caballadas, animaladas) means to talk whatever, to say nonsense. 

I'm no academic. I'm writing from my point of view, the way I feel them.

Let's talk caballá together.

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